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DISCLAIMER
i la la la looove veronicaaureus.&& i hate sandy nonna<3
dont cry because its over, SMILE because it happened.
BE KIND OR THE EAGLE WILL ATTTTTACK YOU! D:
JessicaMedeiros
AGE 13 bitches. get @ me (; SEX im a male -.- bitch. I LIED, FEMALE :)
BACKROUND PORKCHOP to the fullllest (L)
LIKE fooood! && cake, choclate milkshakes.. yum, VERONICA AUREUS (L) annnd, that chick sandy nonna.
I don't
let the tears fall, cause its coming to an end.
im trying to just.. live for now.
but its hard to live in the now, because of peoples captions on their photos, or new blogposts.
and im sorry..
for whoever im not paying attention to,
its just im to caught up in the grades eights drama, and to caught up with the students in grade eight.
i dont know how much im going to say this but im going to miss them so much, im going to miss their voices, their laugh, our handshakes,
and epic hugs.
mostly im going to miss someone to look up to,
im going to miss having somebody there to talk to, and tell them about everything that is going on..
what am i going to do ?
everyday when i arrive at school im going to be torn apart.
and ill think.. wow, its a diffrent world, they used to come here..
im going to miss everything, they changed me,
im going to miss being loved, or feeling important.
i can already imagine it..
coming to school, walking alone..
and feeling alone, feeling like nobodys coming to save me anytime soon
i imagine it as a world where i cant escape it..
like a black hole, with many people inside, but then theres me,
ill be stranded alone, nobody to help me get over my tears.. or my fears
for that fact. im going to miss them so much !
thinking about it now, makes it feel like the time is going by quicker.
it feels like the univerce is making it go by quicker so i can be all alone,
so i can be torn, so i can have no friends.
im going to miss sandy nonna, veronica aureus, jessica depao, &danaca camara the most..
but honestly thats not the only people im going to miss..
ill miss him,
so much, and so badly.
what will i do without them all? somebody please fill me in cause im having a hard time understanding all of this.
why did i have to be a year younger? and why did i have to become friends with those people? i promised myself i would stop.. with all of them and everyone in their grade, but i cant!
because they changed me, i love them..
its their last year i know, but dont forget, its my last year to
if your wondering for what,
its my last year i have with myself, my last year of actually being me.
when they leave ill be a whole diffrent person,
depressed child, sad, torn, alone, and serious.
why does it have to be like this?
why cant i be in grade eight?
fuck why the fuck cant i be in grade eight? this is stupid !
i dont want it to happen..
i guess i have to let it be, what happends will happen
i cant change it.
only i wish i could change it.
im going to miss you guys so fucking much.. no words for it,
i just want you to know i will never forget you,
not when im 16, not when im 30 and sure as hell not when im an old wrinkly grandma.
iloveyousomuch, and words cant explain (L)
im going to miss you,
and everything that ive learned..
you taught me how to be a real person, cause before i met you
i was the girl that was alone and sad,
i guess im going to have to re-in-act that again next year.
bye..
Thursday, February 25, 2010 - 4:30 PM
screwit.
is cause everything is fine..
and i dont need to write if im happy theres no point in it.
kscrewit.
i lied,
im not good, nor am i happy.
the one i love is ignoring me,
and whenever i go to him just to say our "hi"
hes with another girl..
but whatever,
i talked to him on msn,
the conversation got as far as him saying brb
and me like a fool i am waiting an hour longer for his reply saying "back"
aha, lucky me
he signed out.
it used to be so easy with him..
we could talk for hours on msn,
we sent hearts he told me he loved me,
funny thing
i belived it.
all i want is to be friends,
but i just.. it cant happen
and i cant force myself on it.. i just miss him
i miss our long talks
and i miss june, where it all began
why cant it go back how it was?
when me & him used to be really good friends?
now its like whenever i say hi, if i try to keep the conversation going
he has this look on his face as if i should leave..
my friends told me i shouldnt be wasting my time,
aha but im selfish, im jessica
they couldnt stop me..
until it got to far and i really did fall for him.. i couldnt get back up.
and yes, everything isnt okay, hes gone
therefore i guess so am i.
cause he still has my heart.
'9months
Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 6:18 PM
foolish
aha. trust me.
ill name some,
wild, determind, confident, impressed, energetic,
depressed child.. sometimes, foolish, silly, athletic,
strong, evil just a tad, rude, hyper, dilligent,
careless, reckless, brave, dramatic, loud, confusing,
lazy, grumpy, honest, moody, nasty, selfish, unlucky,
deceitful, active, bad tempered, curious, extroverted,
inventful, persuasive, quick tempered, volatile,
thoughtful, sly, playful, picky,
opinionated, loud mouthed, impulsive, dogmatic, and also
very childish at times..
although i might be all those things..
doesnt mean i dont have a good heart.
and if you cant handel me at my Worse you sure as hell dont deserve me at my best
cause my best, would have to be something like
me being a bit wild, having fun, polite, easygoing, childish,
wise, smart, and curious
but im not going to change who i am because of you,
cause trust me thats one thing i wont do,
dont try to change a good heart,
cause you cant break me.
and thats a promise
- 3:26 PM
wishlist
& scince i have a blog now..
i decided to make a wish list.
yeap you can say im just a tad greedy
my wishlist.
1. for the grade eights not to leave..
2. a good new sweet boyfriend
3. to win veronica & jessica of bread in pool.
4. to be an actress
5. to have more money which leads to more clothes
6. new hair cut
7. something to inspire me
8. to meet taylor lautner or even ashton kutcher
9. to have a good year next year
10. to re-decorate my room
11. for me and sandy nonna to live together while in university
12. a in-ground pool
13. to go to st. roch and be with my friends ):
14. for me and veronica to steal peoples fries
15. the one ive been waiting for scince june 2009
^ not in order.. but if it was it would look a little something like this
my wishlist.
1. for the grade eights not to leave..
2. the one ive been waiting for scince june 2009
3. to go to st. roch and be with my friends ):
4. something to inspire me
5. for me and sandy nonna to live together while in university
6. to have a good year next year
7. to meet taylor lautner or even ashton kutcher
8. to be an actress
9. a good new sweet boyfriend.. if i cant have # 2
10. for me and veronica to steal peoples fries
11. a in-ground pool
12. to win veronica & jessica of bread in pool.
13. to re-decorate my room
14. to have more money which leads to more clothes
15. a new haircut
16. a nice life (y)
my first wish aha i know it wont happen
but one can dream...
and the chances of number 2
lmao, some people would say its impossible,
for me , i would say it would be a dream come true.
Sunday, February 21, 2010 - 4:53 PM
home sweet home on tuesday bitches :D
kay so lmfao
basically i was at school right?
and i was supposed to be writting something for music.
but ERRKS, i went on blogspot.
and wrote this whole note on my bestfriend sandy nonna and how i miss her. tell me how the 45 minute period is over.. so i write "ah, my supply teacher is yelling at me, i gotta dip, BYEE :D"
and it didnt even fucking save.
it wouldnt work.
aha it was fucking stupid (:
so yeap. bun those fucking slow ass apple computers.
THERE SHIT.
just thought you should, you know.. KNOW THAT
:D well well well, it is 7:00pm in california weee.
shes at the hall dancing away at the wedding reception.
wee.
but on tuesday my bestest friend is coming back home,
home sweeet home.
the cold weather where shes going to freeze her ass off.
D: sory bestfrrand,
you better get a tan, i hate standing beside paper :(
LOL i liiied.
if you read this, bye
with much love your bestest friend in the whole wide world ;)
MEDEIROS
Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:51 PM
the way back home
to watch the maple leafs practise with the devils..
im in grade seven, although that whole trip i was mostly with the grade eights, i was mostly with my grade eights.
on the way back home on the bus, i saw one of my old friends,
she is in grade seven..
she was sitting by herself, meanwhile i was interacting to the grade eights that whole time, and i did not notice.
but when i did, i wanted to cheer up her sad face a tell her
"dont be sad, dont be lonley, you honestly think im 'popular' by hanging out with the grade eights? well, im not.. concidering next year when they leave ill have no friends, ill have nobody, i will be alone as if they were never here."
although, i couldnt get my legs to move,
i was hesitating, and i let the sadness get to me.
i should have went up to tell her that.. although i didn't
and now i regret it.
next year.. ill be on the back of the bus, all alone.
just like she was on the way back home.
im sorry.
Sunday, February 14, 2010 - 11:27 AM
my school.
but you have to keep in mind.. its my school,
and if you try to bring me down, trust me.. ill be taking you down with me.
just because your sucking up to my friends it doesnt mean they like you,
doesnt mean they ever will.
there my friends.
you talk shit about them too, as if you know them?
hah, bitch please,
you dont know one thing about them, or what they been through.
& trust me, my school doesnt need another one of those sluts
cause we got enough of them.
my school wont be needing you.
my school wont want you.
and trust me if theres one thing i know,
is that your not taking my friends away from me,
nor are you going to invite your self to me & my friends
sleepover's, or whatever we decide to do next.
your not included.
back off, & stop sucking up, cause trust me hunny,
i was first to come here,
and a tip for you.. dont trip on your dick while your walking
cause i wont be helping you back up.
its my school, and your not messing it up.
Saturday, February 13, 2010 - 2:11 PM
for it is yet to come
for it is over,
and stop dwelling on the future,
for it is yet to come,
i should live in the now,
with no regrets.
sure, i know ill be sad when it comes
but at least i will know that i lived in the now
not thinking whats going to happen to us in the end.
but hey that doesnt mean you cant be emotional on what used to be.
it just means you need to get past it
get over the fact nobody is coming to save you anytime soon.
live in the now, no regrets.. no tears, and no fears.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 - 1:38 PM
the water fall
I was raged with diffrent emotion.
I knew it wasnt a big deal,
I would just take it.
but then i felt a tear come down my face
as it hit the desk, more came down
it was like a rainfall, it didnt stop.
i could taste the salt from my tears, which had landed in my mouth.
my eyes were burning and i put my face in my hands to act like i was tired.
nobody had noticed.
i was going to get up, and get a tissue,
but i wouldnt want people starting to wonder.
I sat down and thought that my make-up would be all over my face
rather then just my eyes.
At this point everything i thought about lead up to another tear
coming down my face onto my desk.
I tried to stop.
Although, i couldnt.. it wouldnt.
Well, i guess you have to let things out
whenever, wherever
because it comes to a point that you dont want things bottled up.
Let loose, cry.
show your emotion,
because once and a while.. thats all you really need.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 - 6:08 PM
Tagboard
Be kind, or the eagle will ATTACK YOU!
Goodbyes
veronica aureus*danaca camara*
Bygones
January 2010 // February 2010 // March 2010 // April 2010 // May 2010 // June 2010 // July 2010 // September 2010 // October 2010 // November 2010 // March 2011 //